If you go climbing in Thailand, your world will get turned upside down.
With rusted old bolts and UV frayed slings, you might think to turn back around.
But just stay a while and soon you will see,
Just how glorious the Land of Smiles can be.
When you jump on your first “re-bolted route,”
And 50 feet later the bolts are falling out.
Keep your calm, and manage your breath,
Remember this is why you came on your adventurous quest.
When you’re dangling on a sun-wreaked sling,
Take a look around, it’ll give new meaning to “bling.”
Breathe in the jungle and the sparkling sea,
Just ignore the litter and please don’t taunt the monkeys.
In the south the guides will take over crags.
Everything will be overpriced and rest days may seem a drag.
But don’t get down; let your inner-explorer lead the way…
Hearing be damned! Take that long tail boat across the bay.
Find your own beach, secluded and pristine,
And pray that the driver comes to get you again.
When you’ve had enough beaches and bikini clad ladies,
Head on up to the mountains, where things can get crazy.
At Crazy Horse crag, the vibe is mellow and not so burnt out.
No one will step on your rope, and there’s never a line for a route.
You can ride on elephants outside Chiang Mai.
And if you need a bit of love, moto on over to Pai.
If you haven’t already, I hope you make it here.
If for nothing else than to try the watery beer.
It’s a mecca for dirtbags and wanderers alike,
A magical playground by day and an escapade by night.